Three Years of Crazy

Three weeks ago Seth and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary.  Although three years isn't long in the grand scheme of things, we have gone through so many changes in this short period of time.  Sometimes I find this fact a bit overwhelming, especially when I realize that the life I knew for so long, a child in my parents' house is gone and gone forever.

On May 31st, 2008, Seth and I, two university students got married and moved into our first apartment on Hopewell Avenue.  We have moved two more times since.  We both "finished" university, Seth graduating, me "taking a break" to work for awhile (haha).  Seth was working at Scotiabank when we got married, he later quit to focus on school and graduate sooner, and has had THREE more jobs since then.  Two for the government, and one with Navigators, where he is still working.  We got two cats.  AND, the biggest change of all, we had two babies.

Now all of these changes are probably pretty normal for the first few years of a young couple's marriage. We probably have done things a bit faster than most people, being as crazy as we are, but still, these have all been positive things and we are so happy with our little family.

Even though these changes have been positive, there have been a lot of not so happy changes that have made change of any kind difficult for me to handle.  Since we've been married a lot of people have left Ottawa, including my sister and her family, and some of my close friends.  The least happy change of all though is the passing of my mother.  The loss of her in my life alone is enough to make me terribly sad.  Since her passing, my dad has sold our old house, the one I lived in for 18 years of my life.  I have to admit that house seemed like a safe haven for me.  Somewhere I was always welcome and that felt like home no matter how long I had been gone...and from the time I was four I don't think I've gone longer than 6 weeks without being there! Not only that, but my two childhood kitties, Zipper and Lilly have had to be put down.  We got Zipper when I was 4, so she's been around pretty much as long as I can remember.  In addition to all this my dad will be getting remarried this summer.  As glad as I am that he's happy, it's just another reminder of how my life is never going to be the same as it once was.

So the point of all this?  Well I realized, that with my life changing so quickly, and all of this change being beyond my control, I was avoiding the change that I could control.  One of these things was my hair.  The last time I got my hair cut was in November 2009.  I knew that I needed to get it cut, but part of me was terrified to do it! I knew that I didn't want to become somebody who kept the same hairstyle for decade after decade  so, with some encouragement from Seth I made an appointment.  I was really nervous the day of my appointment.  It seemed so silly to feel that way, but I couldn't help it.  Not only was I getting my hair cut, but I decided to donate it again, so the change was going to be big.  I did it though, and I am glad I did!  I felt awesome after.  It feels so nice to have short hair, especially with two babies who love to wrap their little hands in it.  My hair has never been this short as long as I can remember.

I have to admit, I find it hard being a "grown-up".  I feel like I'm still a kid in so many ways.  I wonder if I'll ever really feel like an adult or if I will always feel like I'm just pretending. Does anyone else ever feel this way? Or is it just me?

Well, that's it for today, it's taken me two weeks to write this blog!! I know, I know, what about the babies??  Well I guess you'll just have to look at my facebook pics for that!  A picture's worth a thousand words right?

Thanks for reading!